The woman you most want to breast-feed you is…
Posted by charliegrrl on June 19, 2006
ZOO 16th – 22nd June 2006
The results are in…
The woman you most want to…
“…it’s…hardly surprising that it’s the 
32G charms of Pinder that the nation’s men would like to suckle. “You don’t want it to dry up too soon,” explains Mark from Sunderland” (pg.55).
Well…at least they are aware that breasts have a function, aside from being sex objects that exist solely for male pleasure…that’s something at least…
Or maybe not…
Even though Liz Hurley is ’somewhat long in the tooth…’, ‘the mum-of-one still has absolutely fantastic kahunas. Catch them now before they’re covered up again… With a thick coat of real estate tycoon ejaculate, if history’s any guide” (pg. 28).
Also, the woman you most want to…
- pay to have sex with is…Jenna Jameson (the ‘US Bongo Queen’ apparently)
- your girlfriend to look like via surgery is…Keeley Hazell (a Zoo model)
Your Country Needs You! 
“Women of Britain- your country needs you. Are you good-looking? An extovert? Do you enjoy the occasional soiree out on the town? Splendid! More importantly, do you possess both a) a skirt the size of a Dorito and b) a cavalier disregard for the health of your liver? Then by God ZOO needs you!” (pg. 70)
ZOO are heading off to clubs aound the UK to find the best places for a night out…and to photograph drunk women flash their knickers and get down to some ‘lesbian’ action.
“Think you’ve got what it takes? Let us know. Quickly. Before the authorities phone up and say words like ‘irresponsible’, or ‘reckless’. Or ‘potentially illegal’ “(pg. 70).
You mean encouraging drunk women to express their bodies as sex objects for your titillation..?
Miss Max Power Live 2006
Max Power Live is a car show held in Birmingham 30 June – 2 July. Because cars are boring and men have a short concentration span, they are also holding Miss Max Power Live 2006, where women are signed up for ‘boob duty’. “Female? Not grotesquely ugly? Why not enter! See www.maxpowerlive.com for details” (pg. 17).
I thought we’d moved on from this…
What’s In Your Knicker Drawer..?
I’ll tell you what’s in mine…umm..knickers! Apparently, there’s more to it than that…
“Ladies’ underwear. A sacred colour-coordinated menagerie of exotic fabrics…[The Temptress, The Seducers, The Slouchers, The Teddy...] the Holy Grail: the knicker drawer… Every week, we’ll be stalking, sorry, ‘tracking down’ your pick of the hottest women in the UK and persuading them to strip down to their scanties. You lucky people…” (pg. 66).
ZOO people, are you aware that stalking is illegal and amounts to sexual harassment…and should not be joked about..? Or was that a Freudian slip..?
