The problem with the ’survivor’ thing is this. And I really, really wish I could reproduce here the brilliant poem I heard on this subject, written by a woman ’survivor’. Basically the poem said – yes everybody wants you to a brave survivor who triumphs over the odds. Because that’s what they want to here, the alternative is depressing to think about for the listener. But for a great many women who’ve been raped/abused it’s just not true. The damage is permanent.

And perpetuating the myth of the ’survivor’ who brushes off rape, minimises the effects of rape. Which for a great many women is post traumatic stress which will affect them for ever.

If anybody wants to read about a real experience of rape I’d recommend Alice Sebold’s Lucky, which has to be one of the most bullshit free books I’ve ever read. She lays it on the line about the real experience and other people’s reactions and it’s very uncomfortable, but it is also truthful.

As she said ‘You save yourself, or you’re not saved’.