Blog of Feminist Activism

The feminist activism of charliegrrl and co

ZOO: Win A Boob Job!

Posted by charliegrrl on January 17, 2007

ZOO are offering women the chance to win a boob job.

Win a Boob Job

ZOO are promoting this Boob Job as the perfect xmas present for their reader’s girlfriends.

“Just imagine her face when you tell her you’re going to wheel her into an operating theatre and let a stranger slice open her mammary glands. Why she’ll be tickled pink.” ZOO 15-26th Dec 06

“Zoo wants to change the life- and bra size- of one lucky lady…

ZOO loves boobs…every pink, wobbling, mammarian cubic inch of them…But we also recognise the beneficial aspects of the common nork. How…breasts can help women lead a fuller, richer life.”

“All affluent, successful, famous women adored by men and envied by women (have) ace whammers. Enormous, ripe hooters. La-las you could abseil off.” ZOO 8-14th Dec 06

ZOO include photos of famous women who have fake breasts, alongside ‘failed’ women celebrities with small breasts, to emphasise how having huge breasts is essential to the success of a woman.

“Now examine their poor-chested cousins. look at their dowdy clothes, their down-turned mouths, their empty lives. For them, their low-quality bappage is not just a problem, when buying bikinis. It’s blighted their very existence.” ZOO 8-14th Dec 06

ZOO are inviting women to send in topless photos of themsleves, so that the readers can choose who is most worthy of a boob job. No doubt the boob job will come with a contract to model them in ZOO, to show how ZOO have saved a lucky lady from a life of flat-chested misery…

Those who enter the competition, feature topless in ZOO, inviting pity on their small breasts, to win reader’s votes. Laura, a model, has decided to enter herself as she states “I’m beginning to realise only a boob job can further my career”

ZOO states they are offering £5000 towards a boob job. Last time they had a boob job competition, they retracted from criticism by stating the money could be put towards a boob job, but ultimately the winner could do what they liked with the money.

However, ZOO’s terms and conditions for competitions states

Prizes are non-transferable, non-negotiable and no cash alternatives will be offered.

Please complain to The Advertising Standards Agency

Please also see Stormy’s Blog

ZOO 8-14th Dec and 15-26th Dec 2006

30 Responses to “ZOO: Win A Boob Job!”

  1. RGM said

    Y’know, every time I hear about the garbage and misogyny that these lad mags put out, I can almost feel a tiny sliver of my faith in humanity die. Needless to say, this has not been a good year for my faith in humanity.

  2. jo said

    Was that first quotation in Zoo? It sounds like sarcasm from someone intelligent. Confused.

  3. Campaign for better boobs, Oh how militant of them! In addition, those headlamps pictured are ‘better’ for what?

  4. It amazes me how many ridiculous words they come up with to refer to breasts!

    They make me so angry.
    Why don’t they just admit they want to design women’s bodies themselves.

    It’s almost- Design your own porn star!

  5. Grace said

    What is that quote all about at the bottom of the better boobs logo? I take it that’s the model then? Does the ‘lucky’ woman have to take that picture with her when she goes under the knife? And if they don’t look like that will she get her money back.

    I heard about this before on Sparkle’s site but I hadn’t read that first quote before. I think Jo is right there is almost sounds like they’re having a dig at people who have plastic surgery….but then they’re the ones offering it!

    One main thing that sickens me though is the “she’ll be tickled pink” part of the quote because Tickled Pink is the name of a breast cancer campaign that has been selling branded clothing (and pink wellies!) in ASDA to raise money for 10 years – and I think using that phrase like (especially as I assume it was already itallicised Charlie rather than you doing that for extra emphasis) is just sick. But then I wouldn’t be so shocked if they hadn’t even thought of that.

  6. Grace said

    Also, I don’t think i’ve envied a woman with ‘ace whammers’ since I was about 12/13 when I hadn’t got a chest and they only thing that seemed to make you cool at my school at the time was having a large chest (and so having a bra) or smoking in the toilets, and as I was bullied for generally being an uncool geek I was jealous of the ‘cool’ people who didn’t get their clothes hidden (although that particular job occured when I was 16). From always having insecurities about my weight (thank you Mom, and the Rosemary Connelly Diet from age 14 onwards) i’ve always envied the bodies of very thin women who mostly (unless they’ve been under the knife) have small chests.

    So that’s just a load of bull isn’t it?

    I try not to care about how I compare now really. But it still comes back sometimes when i’m having ‘fat days’ – probably another thing brought on by this bombardment of the ideal female image though!

  7. jo22 said

    They must know full well what Tickled Pink is, and I think they’re laughing at their own blatant misogyny in that first comment – like, “our readers are too young to understand the sarcasm. Look what we’re getting away with!” Ha bloody ha.

  8. No the photo is the logo for the campaign. It is some sort of latin, the phrase underneath.

    Tickled Pink is indeed italicized by ZOO in the quote. I forgot this relates to the Breast Cancer campaign.

    Fat Days
    Yes, it is hard to overcome the negative relationship with your own body, developed through years of being judged as an object, and guilt-tripped for not meeting hetero-patriarchal demands. It’s taken me a long time, and I’m still not there yet.

  9. jo22 said

    When I say “that first comment”, well, all of them actually.

  10. I’ve just had a letter back from the ASA saying that they are ‘concerned’ that ZOO ‘continue to advertise in this way’ and it is in the hands of the ‘Compliance Team’ I’ll post about it soon.

  11. Wow so soon! Nice one Sparkle 🙂

  12. tcupnewt said

    Is this just me or does the whole “campaign for better boobs” sound like a riff of Dove’s own campaign? Those disembodied breats in the logo make me feel ill- like they are advocating women with attachable and replaceable parts. So not women then- robots.

  13. daisy puke said

    “So not women then- robots.”

    Fuck-bots …. just like they want us. That’s the ultimate aim of porn going mainstream – to turn us all into fuckbots.

  14. stormcloud said

    It is some sort of latin, the phrase underneath.

    errr, faux latin perhaps. Although I’m no expert on latin, compared to zoo, perhaps I am!

    nil = nil (but I think they mean it to be ‘not’)
    satis = enough/sufficient
    nisi = unless/if not/except
    optima = aristocratics/the upper class

    What I think they are trying to say is:

    “Not satisfied, unless gf/boobs/gf’s boobs optimal”

    Of course, it matters not whether mamma is translated as girlfriend or boobs or girlfriend’s boobs, as to zoo readers they are the same/interchangeable.

    When I put “not satisfied unless girl optimum” in a translator, it came out “non contentus nisi puella bonus”

    Bunch of fuckwits.

  15. SarahGrills said

    You go girls!
    I would like to campaign to get breast enlargement operations made illegal.
    It is such a sick advert I could puke my own throat out. What can I do to stop them?

  16. Fanny Blood said

    “let a STRANGER slice open her mammary glands”. SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK. i think it’s fair to say these men who publish this magazine have the minds of rapists? it’s fucking worrying.

    i also received a letter back from the ASA who state:

    “we have already investigated and upheld complaints against advertisements for this porduct and are concerned to see that the advertisers continue to advertise in this way.”

    another slap on the wrists?

    f x

  17. Sian said

    I hate looking at that feckin picture!! The only thing more disgusting is the idea that lads are looking at it in Zoo thinking, “I’d love to get me hands on them tits”

    Something I noticed was this quote, “ZOO loves boobs…every pink, wobbling, mammarian cubic inch of them”

    Since when are all boobs pink? Or is just that Zoo and their readers only consider “pink” boobs sexy – along with blond hair, blue eyes, hairlessness, false nails and a clown face!

    And then there’s the use of “wobbling” when all they want to do is get women to turn their natural breasts into stiff plastic melons!!!

    Perhaps someone should start a comp to offer women the chance
    to win £5000 towards a castration for a man of their choosing!

    Oh and Im thoroughly repulsed by their use of Tickled Pink. Do they think breast cancer is a joke? I mean, getting a boob job reduces the chances of a woman being able to feel and find anything in her breast. The misogynistic gits wouldn’t care if we all died as long as we all had nice big pert perfect breasts for the time we were here for their titilation! Vile, vile, vile, vile, vile, vile, vile

  18. Fanny Blood said

    course they think breast cancer is a joke. they hate women.

  19. Aimée said

    Wow. Just.. wow. All those quotes come from idiots who shouldn’t be anywhere fucking NEAR media, let alone “entertainment”. Eugh, they will eventually wank themselves to death, I hope…

  20. stormcloud said

    Aimée: “they will eventually wank themselves to death, I hope…”

    Or possibly drown in a sea created by their own semen.

  21. ironheart said

    You must thank ZOO for promoting low self-esteem and eating disorders in women- I saw bright red when I read how they think that flat-chested women will not get anywhere. That’s fucking ridiculous and infuriating- I wish I would live in Britain so that I could burn every issue of this magazine in sight, if needed even the stores which sell it. *gaaah*

  22. tcupnewt said

    Well it is kinda hard to swim one-handed.

  23. yaeli said

    Well, I’ve complained to ASA, got a standard response back but the more complaints, the merrier I guess.

    Who are ZOO’s readership anyway? Fuckwits who have only ever seen a naked woman on the porn sites they regularly visit?

  24. SJ said

    Bunch of asshats, to use a favourite insult. I’m wondering how brave I am regarding action on WH Smiths in Edinburgh… I’m in there quite a lot, it’s busy, stickering should be easy… reading this blog will galvanize me. Sorry this comment’s so late, I’ve only just found you. Yay for feminists in the Guardian!

  25. Laura said

    I work at WHSmith’s in London. When I expressed my disgust to my boss about this, he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive and fobbed me off by saying it was legal, made money and washed his hands of it.

    The sad thing is, there is no irony in ZOO’s campaign; I am an A-Cup and i have been confronted with this attitude since I was around 13, even from my own mother (my family offered to pay for me to have a boob job when I hit 18)

    It’s just……sad.

  26. too sensitive!
    Being in a workplace confronted with sexually degrading imagery that makes you feel uncomfortable, is sexual harassment.
    Check out their grievance policy on sexual harassment.

    Gosh, your family offered to get you a boob job! I feel for you.

    It’s great that you complained! If you keep complaining you may find other women feel the same and you may be able to pressure WHSmiths into rethinking their porn alliance. Let us know of how you get on.

  27. Laura said

    I spoke to my new manager today, and he offered me the number of both the main guy in Head Office, and our magazine suppliers. He’s been very helpful about it despite being in a potentially awkward situation. I will raise my concerns about both their porn policy and the Playboy merchandise we sell (I refuse to put it in the shelves if ever I am asked)

    I’ll keep you all updated.

  28. Well done for making a stand!

  29. katy said

    i wouldn’t say no to winning a boob job. but hey, then thats just me. although i have huge ones already, they’re real and very annoying – bras dont fit properly cos my boobs are saggy. i have to wear those lovely granny style ones.
    before you get all millitant on me, the boob job i’d want would be a reduction.
    anyone who has tiny ones should quit moaning , they’re easier to deal with and dont give you back ache.
    that and, zoo is a lads mag, for lads, not intelligent females, so why are you all so bothered?
    also, the magazine zoo doesn’t represent the opinion of everyone, not even close. they just want to sell mags and have a laugh.

    and…most people who appreciate a nice bit of boobage (men and lady loving females) will tell you – its not about how they look, its about how they feel, and plastic just feels a bit hard and fake.

    just one last question for all those who posted here….

    are you also the people who purposely watch a programme you ‘think’ might be offensive, just to make a list of complaints?

  30. You’d be unlikely to win a boob reduction- kinda goes against the grain of lads mags

    We’re bothered about lads mags…because they encourage women to feel unconfident about the size of their breasts then offer boob jobs…get it..?

    Real boobs rule!

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