Man wanking in the park
Posted by charliegrrl on April 15, 2007
When I realised a few years ago that I’m a lesbian, I hoped I would never have to see an erect penis again.
But today I was sitting in my local park reading the paper, when behind me in the bushes I saw a man, with no trousers on, holding his penis. At first I thought, ooops, that man is having a piss and he doesn’t realise I can see him. But I looked again cos I thought there was something strange- his penis was erect, he was flicking it around and squeezing the end of it- I thought he’s not having a piss, he’s just had a wank- right behind me, facing a park full of sunbathers, parents and kids. I kept on looking at him angrily, but I couldn’t see his face. He pulled up his trousers and disappeared.
I’m going to report this to the police.
I can still see the image of him shaking and squeezing his penis- it disgusts me. I can’t understand the mentality of men who do this?
Blog of Feminist Activism 
jennifer drew said
One theory is that such men are ‘sick.’ My own theory is such men believe that by exposing their ‘little pencils’ erect or limp they are attempting to demonstrate their power over women and children. At the very least this man was attempting to instil fear into women and children who quite rightly were enjoying the sunshine. I just hope the next time this man thinks it is acceptable to wank off in public a group of women catch him in the act and make sure he doesn’t do it again.
sparklematrix said
I agree with Jennifer it’s about power and trying to instil some sort of fear. It happened to me a few years ago – and to my daughter in a different incident. In addition, I also used to experience ‘legal’ flashing when I was nursing where men would go out of their way to make sure that you saw their dicks. Of course being a nurse all they would muster off me was a rather withering stare. I think the “flash the nurse” is probably feeding into some sort of stereotypical fantasy. Gawd originality isn’t a strong point for some.
emma said
There is a misconception that ‘flashers’ (ie exhibitionists) and the like are harmless and just a bit of a laugh. However there is evidence that this type of behaviour can and does progress into more serious sexual offences including indecent assault and rape. So yes this man should be reported to the police.
jennifer drew said
Yes Sparkle it is about power – sexual power. What this man did was the same as the Judge who is now charged with indecent exposure. It is male sexual harassment and its sole purpose is to remind women and children their place is subordinate to men. The usual claim when men are caught in the act is they are ‘sick.’ No such men are not sick. Many, many women and girls have been subjected to the sight of men waving their ‘little pencils’ around and still we are told to ‘laugh it off or ignore such sexual harassment.’ The male patients were doing the same thing to female Nurses in that they were once again reminding these women they may be Nurses but their primary role is one of sexual object. But when women resist we are told we are acting like ‘victims’ or the men did not mean it. Wrong these men know precisely what they are doing – sexually harassing women and girls.
Claims that such incidents are ‘harmless’ denies the reality of male sexual violence and how it is condoned and justified. Charlie’s experience is just another instance of what innumerable women and girls experience day in and day out – male sexual harassment and sexual intimidation. Why? Simple – it is designed to keep women and girls in a constant state of fear – fear that the next man might be a rapist and women’s only safety is by curtailing their right of walking in public and ensuring their clothing does not supposedly cause male sexual arousal. Males who sexually harass women and girls do so as a sign of contempt for women and girls and to prove to other men they are ‘real masculine men.’ Which is why when such men are challenged they claim they are the ‘real victims’ or the woman/girl is lying or she misunderstood the male’s behaviour.
Johanna said
Yes, their idea with the penis-waving is to intimidate women and children they are targetting. Happened to me as a kid. It always delights me when I heaar stories of women managing to ridicule/scare off these guys.
Sian said
My friend sat next to a man on the bus doing the same under a carrier bag.
Another friend of mine was felt up on a bus and had the courage to report this man who it turned out was getting on buses all over the places touching women up!
When i was in school (4th year senior – dunno what that is in today’s system) one lad used to flash his penis at me at the back of the class, sometimes with an elastic band tied round it (????!!!) – always when noone was looking but me which he was VERY careful about and it was so frustrating. I told everyone but he denied it and I don’t think everyone believed me sadly. I got the distinct impression (as he used to try and tell me his fantasies too) that he simply got off on it. Pity he didn’t bother to give a shit that I was repulsed by it and he wasn’t arsed that I was an unwilling participant.
charliegrrl said
The images of him jacking off are still playing on my mind and disgusting me. I’m alot angrier about the incident now I have had time to reflect on it- on his motives and the way it made me feel, and the way my mind is being violated with images of his penis.
This happened to my female friends when young- they were about 10 years old, and walking in a forest near our house, when a man approached them, dropped his pants and started masturbating, then tried to grab them. Luckily they ran away and he was convicted.
And this happened to a friend recently- she was sitting on a bus when a man sitting near was staring at her whilst masturbating. She froze, she didn’t know what to do.
Yeah I agree that it is about power. I admit when I have heard about such incidences, I used to think of the men as ‘sick wierdos’, but really they are men who wish to intimidate women and children. And it is hard to accept that men do such perverse things to intimidate women and children, but obviously they do and they do it regularly.
Arantxa said
A man did that to me at an Underground station. I went after him while shouting and swearing and threatening to kick him and he ran off. I went to get a member of staff but, of course, there were none.
jennifer drew said
Thank you Charlie for writing about this man’s abusive behaviour because it is only by talking and writing about such instances will we realise such incidents are in fact common, carefully planned for maximum distress to the viewer which at the same increases the man’s sense of sexual entitlement and power.
Obviously it didn’t make you feel better because this man did invade your space but you are not remaining silent. It is all those ‘little’ sexual abuses which are on a continuum of male sexual violence against females.
Good to hear Arantxa that you shouted at the abuser but as always no one was around. Not easy to know what to do in such a situation because the male abusers know they have the element of surprise. Such brave males!
stormy said
Thankfully it has never happened to me, and I would probably not think of anything to do in the situation. Perhaps if you see him again in the same park, be armed with a camera and try to get his face in the photo as well? The photo could be given to police and/or used in posters around the park.
One wonders if he was focused on the women, or the children, or both. Creep.
Grace said
I’m really sorry that you had to be exposed to that Charlie, but very glad that you are taking action, I just hope that the police do something. My first reaction was also to think that it was really sick, and I still do think it’s sickening, but thanks to everyone who has so far highlighted the power element as I may not have thought of it that way, being so stuck in disgust mode as I was.
As a heterosexual woman a very large part of me hope’s i’ll never see an erect penis again, I can’t imagine what it would be like in that instance (that hope of mine probably doesn’t make sense but hey).
Thanks for posting about this Charlie, it’s so important to hear about these daily occurances that society just fobs of as ‘a laugh’ in the context of what they really are.
andy said
I don’t think people regard this kind of thing as a laugh. These nonces tend to get in big trouble when caught – which they fully deserve.
Kim said
Years ago, me some friends of mine had a habit of sitting in the middle of a beautiful field with a cycle track through it in the summer to get away from… less green places.
On one such occasion, a cyclist got off his bike and pissed into a bush, and me and my friend looked at each other thinking “How nice…”, he then continued to lay down in the shelter of the bush, and after a while of thinking “What’s he doing? Having a rest? Dying?”, we realised he’d taken a cycle break to have a wank. In the field where people walked their dogs, children played, people sat and chilled, and a family of foxes lived, he had a wank. What is with this?
Pio Trish said
There is this one guy in my neighbourhood who seems hell bent on exposing himself at every opportunity.
Always dressed the same – some dumb t-shirt saying ‘Adam Makes The Tea’ (what ? is this some kind of biblical thing?).
I’ve seen him on more than one occasion with his penis in his hand stirring it round and round like some sort of spinning meat. Ugh.
Rule One: these pervs must be banned.
I’m grossed out just thinking about it.
joe said
Ladies when a male exposes himself it is not a power thing or to instill fear, for me it is pure gradification when a women sees me jacking off,just a harmless thrill,of course I dont jackoff in parks or public places but I do jackoff in my window hoping that some girl would see me,i give the power to the woman because she has seen me jackingoff ,my private moment,i certainly am not out to hurt anyone,im a bit of an exhibitionist,thanks for letting me say a few words
shay said
Heres the thing, joe, stop flattering yourself but the huge majority of women DO NOT want to see you wank from your window. They dont get to choose to see you do that or not, “you give them power” well thanks joe, i’m glad you are so important to give some woman power, so generous of you to empower women by showing them your penis without their consent.
joe said
Shay perhaps you misunderstand what I say , Im an exhibitionist ,I like to be seen nude ,Jackingoff by women ,the way I do it is an accidental view of me in action so its not painfull to the woman in anyway,some women look,some woman look and smile or laugh and some do not ,no one has been disgusted, it is not as if I have a flashing light on my window that says hey look at me . It is totally harmless and again it has nothing absolutly nothing to do with instilling fear or power over women ,just an exciting rush while jacking off,a thrill if you will,I hurt noone and never would ,when a woman sees me she probably feels for me and says ha ha that guy he doesnt know that I can see him jackingoff,very innocent yet It helps me with my fantasy – fetish -exhibitionism and I cum and go on with my everyday life ,I love to be watched,I can jackoff for you Shay if you want to watch or any woman that wants to see,I can send you a vid clip although live is the best.Thanks charliegrrl for allowing me to voice my opinions.Happy holidays to all !!!